❤ Your Birth Story, Nicholas Edward Kearn ❤

The books, apps and midwives at the prenatal classes all told us to write out a birth plan. However, family and friends cautioned us about how labor is unpredictable and how a birth plan can't always be followed. We decided to outline our plan anyways and hope for the best. No where in the birth plan did we write that at midnight we'd like to have an emergency C-Section (called a "Caesar" in Oz). But, on November 2nd, 2011, that's exactly what happened. Our little October baby ended up being born via C-section a week late.

On November 2nd, 2011, we arrived at The Mater Mother's Hospital at 7:30 pm for our scheduled induction.


Speaking of things NOT going according to plan. Even our induction didn't happen like we planned. The plan was to have prostaglandin gel inserted on the night of November 2nd. The gel would start to ripen my cervix overnight, and I would hopefully start labor contractions by morning and have you on November 3rd. That was the plan.

Before inserting the gel, they monitored your heart rate for an hour. I guess they needed to establish a baseline. Your heart rate was good at around 130-140 beats per minute. Just what we wanted to see. After an hour, the midwife inserted the gel and we needed to continue to be monitored for another hour before being sent up to the 10th floor to sleep for the night.

Sucking on some nitrous to ease the pain and nerves

Everything was going "according to plan" for about 30 minutes or so. Your heart rate was good and mum and dad were happy. Then, I had to pee. They left the heart monitor hooked to me. But, unhooked it from the machine so that I could use the toilet. When they hooked us back up to the machine, they noticed that your heart rate was lower than they'd like to see. It was hovering around 106 . Then, it dropped to 88. The midwife monitored us for a minute and watched as your heart rate climbed again. Phew!! Before she left the room, she told us to use the call button if we saw the monitor hovering in the 80s again. A few minutes after she left, your heart rate dropped to the 80s and then I saw 56. To say I panicked would be an understatement. I was so incredibly scared. I told your dad to get the midwife QUICK!

She came back into the room and pushed the "panic" button behind my bed. I call it the "panic" button. But, they would call it the "team" button. As she pushed it, she said, "there are going to be a lot of people in here in a minute". My first thought, "OH SHIT!" I knew this was NOT the plan. After the team monitored us for a minute or two and saw that your heart rate was fluctuating with contractions, they called Dr. Vincent Loh, our OB from Arrivals, who was on call that night. He was there in minutes and let us know that my contractions had started and that with each contraction your heart rate would drop. After the contraction was over, your heart rate would return to normal. He thought it in your best interest not to go through hours and hours of contractions since they were causing you stress. Instead, he thought it best to preform a C-Section right then. What?? This was DEFINITELY NOT according to plan. I hadn't even read the sections in the books about C-sections because I was sure it wasn't going to happen to me.

Your Daddy was rushed off to put on surgery scrubs as I was wheeled into Theater (the surgery room). I remember taking a deep breath as they wheeled me through the double doors into the bright room, and I remember thinking, "Here we go...There's no turning back now!" I also remember thinking that there were so many people in the room. There must have been 10 people waiting for us in Theater. I remember my body shaking uncontrollably and crying like crazy. I had never had any kind of surgery before. That fact plus the fear that something terrible might happen to you before they could get you out, was more than I could handle.

Once Daddy returned wearing scrubs, the anesthesiologist gave me the epidural and they got started. I had been so afraid of the epi for 9+ months, and in the end, it wasn't bad at all. Your daddy held my hand and sat near my head while Dr. Loh and Dr. Seto (your Pediatrician) preformed the C-section. Three minutes later, at 11:52pm (Australia time) on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011, they asked us if we wanted to meet our son. As they lifted you over the curtain, I said, "Oh my gosh! He's so big".


I remember thinking that you looked HUGE! I don't know if I could have pushed you out. I know they say you find the strength and that your body knows what to do. But, you were one big baby. I guess you didn't listen to me throughout the pregnancy when I told you that you weren't allowed to get any bigger than 7 lbs. You were born weighing 8 lbs 5 oz.

Once we got a quick look at you, you were taken to the other side of the room to have your Apgar scores taken, to be weighed, cleaned and to let Daddy trim your cord while I was sewn up.


I could hear you crying, and I can't tell you how happy that made me. I always thought that I would cry when you were born. Instead, I had a perma smile that made my cheeks hurt. I was so damn happy to hear you cry. Your Apgar scores at one and five minutes were both 9. You lost a point for having pale arms and purple fingernails, which I guess is pretty normal.

A few minutes later, you were bundled in a hospital blanket and brought over to me. Your face was so squished up and had signs of water retention. Something else which I guess is normal. Daddy has our first meeting on video, and someday we'll show you.



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Soon after, Daddy and you went to wait for me in the recovery room for a few minutes. They had to get me off the surgery table and onto a regular bed before I could leave the Theater. When I got into the recovery room, your daddy was holding you and had the biggest smile. He was one happy man to finally be holding his son.



We stayed in the recovery room until my temperature was normal and the feeling in my lower half started to come back. During this time, I nursed you for the first time and we talked to Dr. Loh about the procedure.




The next four days were a whirlwind. We stayed in the hospital for four nights, one night less than we thought we would. We met many wonderful midwives who gave us heaps of advice and tools for our tool box. Our favorite midwife was Charlotte. She was a riot. She not only educated us, but also made us laugh. She is the person who gave you your first bath.





Your Daddy was wonderful during those four days and nights, as well. I was recovering from the C-Section and couldn't even get out of bed the first day. He took such good care of both of us. He changed all of your nappies (diapers) and stayed awake with you so that I could sleep in between feedings. When one of us needed him, he was there. He's always been that way, so I shouldn't have expected any less from him. You are a lucky boy to have such a fantastic Dad.



On Sunday November 6th, 2011 we excitedly loaded you into your carrier (car seat) and took you to your new home on Kangaroo Point, where we will raise you for the first year of your life. ❤ Welcome Home Sweet Baby Nicholas



Edited by Ryan - And after the excitement of the homecoming had worn off, you and Mum took your first naps.

The Final Days

Dear Baby,

It's hard to believe that you're due to arrive in 10 days... But, you could make your big debut any time now. These last days have been filled with many different emotions. We are so excited for you to be born so that we can meet you and give you snuggles. I think my favorite feeling is when you get the hiccups. It feels like a little rhythmic heart beat in my belly. They aren't painful, and I know your lungs are getting a healthy workout. Ironically, you just started hiccuping as I wrote that last sentence. Too funny!!

280 Days is a long time to be pregnant, and I am especially looking forward to you being born. I've enjoyed carrying you, and I've loved my pregnant body. However, these last weeks have been quite uncomfortable, and there have been a lot of days when I've really wished for you to be born. I'm usually content until mid to late afternoon. The midwife told us that this is normal. My body gets tired by then and that's when the discomfort generally starts. The discomfort comes in the form of Braxton Hicks contractions and cramping, both of which are normal and considered good preparation for actual labor. During the more painful moments, I've been practicing relaxing and deep breathing. I also imagine your cute little face, and all of that combined seems to help. I've also been having not only lower back pain, but also pubic bone pain, which is, again, normal since you have dropped and your head is putting pressure on the bone.


We've only taken photos, but it would be fun to take a video so that you can see how I move these days. Between the Braxton Hicks, cramping, back and pubic bone pain, I now move very, very slowly. It's more of a waddle where I sway from side to side. Even when I try to move faster...there is NO moving fast! Your daddy has been so supportive, and I love that he helps me off the couch, in and out of the bath, in and out of the bed and pretty much any other time I need help ~ which these days is pretty often.

We haven't done a whole lot in the last month. We've stuck pretty close to home. While your daddy works from home, our days are filled with cooking, baking, cleaning, reading, gardening, watching movies, IMing family/friends and the occasional swim. Swimming is THE BEST! I would live in the pool if I could. The buoyancy of the water helps relieve all of the discomfort and heaviness I'm feeling. The hardest part is getting out of the pool. I feel three times heavier than before I get in, and it's a bit difficult to make myself get out.

Relaxing Poolside 38 weeks

All in all, this has been an incredible journey over the past 9 months. We have loved seeing you in the ultrasound pictures, and I've loved feeling you growing inside of me, even when you've been a bit rough and have hurt me. It just means that you're a strong baby and that you're developing like you should. Your daddy and I are very much looking forward to your arrival. Our hospital bags are packed and we're ready to go. Now, it's up to you to decide when you want to arrive. But, for the record, you should know, I'll be happy with sooner rather than later.

I love you already,
Mommy

40 More Days...The Final Count Down

I can hardly believe that it's almost time for bub to make his debut. We only have 40 more days 'til our due date, and I'm REALLY hoping he doesn't plan on being fashionably late. Mum is getting quite uncomfortable these days. They say that feeling your baby move is the "BEST feeling in the World". Don't misunderstand me. I love being pregnant and am happily anticipating this little guy's arrival. But, I would be lying if I said, "I love feeling him move".

Pregnancy is different for everyone. For me, it's been quite painful the last few weeks. Our Baby likes to do what the books call "pedaling". Pedaling is basically what it sounds like. His arms and legs are pedaling inside me as if he's riding a bike. His feet, hands, knees and elbows punch on the insides of my belly and then strongly scrape across me. This can go on for hours, and it's caused me to feel quite bruised inside. But, that doesn't stop our little guy from scraping my bruised areas daily/hourly. In addition to scraping my belly, since he's dropped and is in the head down position, his feet have found my ribs. UGH! He doesn't know what he's doing. He's just trying to make some room for himself and get comfortable in the small space my vertically challenged body has given him. I understand this. However, this mom has been brought to tears from the pain his movements have caused. It seems the only time I am truly comfortable is while in the bath. Baby seems to relax and settle down, and my belly softens as it becomes weightless. I love it! For about a month, I've been taking a warm bath nightly, and there have been days when I've contemplated taking multiple baths. You know it's been a rough evening when Ryan disappears into the bathroom, runs the bath water, pours the lavender bath in, and orders me in . It doesn't take long before I am saying, "I feel SO much better".

Like I said, I know bub doesn't know he's hurting me, and I know that he's only trying to get comfortable as his space gets more and more cramped. When I get scraped and rib punched, I do my best to remember that. It's not always easy. But, I try. In the end, what else can I do? We have 40 more days til D (Due) Day, and for this Mum it can't come quick enough.

Falling for the Perfect Photo

Double Rainbow as Tropical Storm Approaches across Lake Weyba

Beautiful shot, huh? Well, there's a story behind this picture. It's a painful and stressful story....

As we were sitting in the Lake Room enjoying Howard's surprise birthday lunch, I looked out the window at the 180* view of Lake Weyba and saw this brilliant, double rainbow. I immediately grabbed my camera and headed for the back door. As I was walking out onto the back deck, Ryan yelled, "be careful!". He knows me well, and I wish I would have heeded his warning. I safely made my way down the steep, wood stairs to the jetty. I don't quite know what happened after that. I think because I had made it safely down the stairs, I let my guard down. Ironically, I was on flat ground when it happened. I had just stepped off the jetty in order to get the perfect angle for my photo, and my foot got caught up on a thin wire cable. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground. Oh, my poor knees!! I am so thankful I had the sense to protect my belly because, honestly, it was the kind of fall that should have laid me out flat. I not only protected our baby, but also my camera by going down on my knees. It wasn't a planned landing. But, I went down HARD on both knees and on the hand that wasn't carrying the camera. I think I scared Howard and his brother in law, Dietmar, but I KNOW I scared myself. I was, understandably, panicky for the rest of the night for fear that the fall had hurt the baby. Ryan kept reassuring me that my poor, bloody knees were the only thing that I had hurt. And he made sure to add, "I told you to be careful". Ever since the fall, I have been conscientiously aware of how I move my body and am being much more methodical about my steps so that nothing like that ever happens again.

Babymoon on the Sunshine Coast

Ryan and I drove up the Queensland Coast this past weekend for a last getaway before Bub makes his arrival in a few weeks. It was a BIG weekend in Oz. We met Marg and Howard at Eumarella Shores on Lake Weyba to celebrate Howard's 60th Birthday, it was both the 1st weekend of Spring & Father's Day, and Ryan and I were happy to have a Babymoon on the Sunshine Coast. Heaps of things to celebrate!

We drove up at midday on Friday stopping at Howard and Marg's beautiful lake front accommodations on Lake Weyba. We had planned to pop by for a quick visit before leaving to check in at our place at Castaway Cove. But, we ended up being invited to stay for a delicious wild Baramundi dinner, and how can you say no to that? It was delicious! Plus, we had a 5 Star view of the lake from the Lake Room at the cottage. Not too shabby!!


On Saturday, Ryan and I started the day at the Eumundi Markets , which is an outdoor hippy, skippy, artsy, fartsy type market. Here "you'll find original artworks, sculptures, furniture, handmade toys, housewares, and skincare, as well as cutting edge fashion and jewelery by local designers", not to mention the plethora of food stalls. I LoVE the Eumundi Markets, and was happy to find a small, handmade purse for a reasonable price.

Here are a couple of stalls from the markets

After spending a lazy morning wandering the market stalls, we headed back to the lake cottage to celebrate Howard's 60th Birthday with a surprise lunch. Marg had organized for about 20 people to join them for a beautiful afternoon. I wish I would have taken a picture of the food table. It was gorgeous! There were scrumptious salads, ripe fruit, a variety of cheeses, beautiful breads, meat & sea food trays and more. Everyone used a plate to start lunch off. But, then we all grazed for about 6 more hours. We finished the night with ice cream and berries while watching a Paul Kelly tribute DVD. I would have to say, Howard's surprise birthday lunch was a huge success.

On Sunday, Ryan and I checked out Castaway Beach, where our hotel was....




before heading a few kilometers into Noosa. We walked up and down the quaint beach town window shopping and drinking a cappuccino. We didn't spend too much time in Noosa since, as we sat on the beach, we watched a tropical storm approach.

Paddle Boarder at Noosa trying to beat the storm

Noosa Beach looking toward the National Park

We started our two hour drive home just as the rain started to come down. It was perfect timing. The weather had cooperated for our last getaway before baby is born, and we couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

*Click here to see the full gallery of photos from our weekend on the Sunshine Coast.

Pre-Natal Class Panic leads to Positive Thinking

This past weekend, Ryan and I went to our pre-natal class. I am, admittedly, a HUGE wimp when it comes to hospitals, doctors and/or medical procedures. Always have been. I was the kid who passed out while on a 6th grade field trip to a hospital. They had to admit me, and my mom had to drive to the hospital to pick me up. Yup, that's how serious my fear of hospitals is. So, it wasn't a big surprise to me or Ryan when I got slightly anxious during the hospital tour of the birthing suites on Friday night. I think seeing the actual birthing room made it a reality. After the hospital tour, we ended the night with 14 other expecting couples in a class like setting. I didn't feel too worried during the class. However, after we returned home that night the restlessness began. To say I didn't sleep well would probably be an understatement. I don't think I slept AT ALL. I was obsessing about the labor and all that is involved with that. And I, of course, kept going to a negative place thinking about a lot of the worst case scenarios. I must have finally fallen asleep at some point. However, I woke up early Saturday feeling sluggish and drained. We had the second part of our pre-natal class, an 8 hour Saturday class, to get to. So, even though we were both tired, we got ourselves to the early morning class. We settled into our chairs and prepared for the long day ahead. Before that day, I was, honestly, looking forward to the class. I was excited to meet other expectant mums and dads, and I was anticipating learning things I hadn't read about in the books. But, after a couple of hours, I started to be filled with trepidation. I can't say exactly what made me so filled with terror. All I know is that it felt like someone had turned the heater on high. I began sweating profusely, I felt faint, and I couldn't drink water fast enough. I kept looking at Ryan with scared eyes, and he kept rubbing my leg and reassuring me that I was fine. I was far from fine. I was in the middle of a severe panic attack. I was sure that I was going to be the pregnant lady who passed out at the pre-natal class, and that thought wasn't helping my already escalating panic attack. The last 20 minutes before lunch felt like 3 hours. I was glued to my chair for fear that if I stood up I would either pass out or throw up. But, what I really wanted to do was to get myself outside and get fresh air. As soon as we were dismissed for lunch, I hightailed it for the door with Ryan close behind. Once outside in the fresh air, I felt a hundred times better. We walked to Subway for lunch and as we sat there eating our sandwiches, I tried to explain to Ryan how I was feeling. Like I mentioned earlier, I have never been good with hospitals and/or medical procedures and listening to the midwives explain all of the possible worst case scenarios was just too much for me. I was imagining them ALL happening to me, and it made me panic. The funny thing is that none of the information was new to me. I've read about it in the books and on the Ipad apps. So, I'm not sure why it effected me so strongly that morning. In the end, Ryan and I didn't return to the class. I told Ryan that I just couldn't see sitting in the class and panicking for 3 more hours. That is not an ideal situation for me or baby. We had already had the two parts of the class that I was really looking forward to ~ The Hospital Tour and the Non-Pharmaceutical Pain Relief Options. I was so thankful that Ryan didn't make me feel bad about leaving early. Instead, he suggested the we walk along the river and go check out my favorite outdoor market, The Life Style Market in Southbank. After we got home, we took a long nap and recovered from the lack of sleep the night before. When we woke up Ryan and I talked about my anxiety, and he made me feel much better. I realized then that when I was thinking about the hospital and all the pain and panic that will most likely happen that day, I wasn't thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel ~ Our Baby! I wasn't ever getting to the end of the labor process and imagining that I'd be holding our baby in my arms. After this realization, I wrote out of a list of all the positive reasons to welcome labor. Since then, I have felt fantastic. I now welcome labor and say, "Bring it on!"

Precious Previews 3D/4D Ultrasound

A few days ago, we visited Precious Previews and had a 3D/4D scan of our baby boy. We had been waiting for this day for months, and we were very excited. Ryan and I have both been to this type of scan before. I was there six year's ago for our nephew, Mark's, scan, and Ryan and I both went to our niece, Kaylee's, scan two years ago. But, nothing can prepare you for the 3D/4D scan of your own baby. It was INCREDIBLE!

I know there's a baby inside me. Believe me... I can feel his strong legs kicking me. But, to see his precious face and to see how much he looks like Daddy made me smile bigger than I thought was possible. Now, whenever I get uncomfortable, and I think his kicking and has gone on long enough, I look at the pictures of his gorgeous face and it helps me through the discomfort. How can I not smile??

The only thing that would have made the day more exciting would have been to have had our parents and siblings with us. The centre is set up to include families. There is a large, leather sectional couch and a huge, flat screen TV. We invited Marg and Howard, bub's surrogate Aussie Grandparents, to join us. But, they had family obligations in Melbourne and weren't able to make it. So, Ryan and I went alone. It was still magical. It is our baby, after all. But, it would have been nice to share it with family.

I uploaded the pictures to FB right away, and Ryan worked on getting the 20 minute video uploaded, as well. So, even though our families weren't able to be there in person, thanks to the Internet, they have been able to get a glimpse of bub. And now, it seems everyone is smiling!

30 Week 3D/4D Ultrasound Pictures